Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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