A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize