brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
