im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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