then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
