I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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