What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
