she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
