That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
