We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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