Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
