I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Randomize
