I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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