Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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