I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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