Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
