We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
