I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
