I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
