I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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