I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
