i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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