allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
