I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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