so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
