i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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