Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
ttyl tear gas
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
