why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
