put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
