did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
