Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
