You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
