Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
