i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Vodka?
Forever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
