My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I love having hate sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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