Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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