No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
