dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
