Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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