So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
