You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
