You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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