Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Do you need to be saved?

(847): View more from Illinois

No I think I'm God

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(336): View more from North Carolina

This house was built for laser tag.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.

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(847): View more from Illinois

This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.

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(315): View more from New York

so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.

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