She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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