i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
