u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
