So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
