yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
