I hate your face
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to make out with him forever
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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