Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
