What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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