positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
