In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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