I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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