dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
