One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
