party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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