do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
