Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
